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Approaching sexual crossroads: stigma and prejudice in lesbian community
On Sunday morning Ashley Hicks and Ashley Charles, both college students, pull into a Subway parking lot.
As they approach the counter to order, other patrons in the facility and two female employees stop and watch.
They cannot be blamed either, because these girls command attention.
Hicks towers over the tallest man in the building at 5 feet 10 inches. Her hair is cut close on one side, while her unruly curls fight against the handful of gel she applied that morning.
Charles stood even taller at 6 feet 2 inches, with green eyes and the beginnings of dreadlocks.
As they discuss their order Charles can be seen shyly smiling down at Hicks as she self-assuredly declaims her order. A private joke is made after which the couple exchanges a kiss, and Charles wraps her arms around Hicks.
The tension in restaurant suddenly jumped from 0 to 10. A man who had been sitting near one of the many windows begins to quickly herd his family out of the door.
However, seemingly oblivious to it all, Hicks and Charles
complete their order, pay and return to the car, giggling and smiling.
Once they leave the parking lot and turn onto the freeway more serious natures became apparent.
"I do not want to be judged," Charles said. "I realized in the 8th grade I was sexually attracted to girls. However, I didn't act on my feelings until my 9th grade year. Back then I claimed bisexuality. Then I realized that I was only using guys for material things and that I really liked girls. At that moment I knew I was homosexual."
Though Charles had formerly defined herself as bisexual, she explained once she had chosen to be homosexual she "could not deal with an active bisexual," which is someone who acts "acts on feelings and has sex with both sexes. She believes bisexuality is a choice and a side should be chosen.
Hicks, a bisexual, believes it is about love or having fun, like heterosexual relationships.
Hicks said, "Between my freshman and sophomore year of college, I kissed a girl one night, and afterwards it escalated into something more."
"People who are bisexual usually end up picking the side they are attracted to the most. In the end they are just trying to be with someone they connect with despite their gender," said Hicks.
However, both parties believe it is socially unacceptable for men to be bisexual.
"The media makes it socially more acceptable for girls to be attracted to girls. Shows like Girls Gone Wild, which show girls getting drunk and kissing their friends are OK, just not for guys," said Hicks.
There are many who still believe anything outside of traditional, heterosexuality is wrong.
However, Charles believes as new generations emerge things are changing.
"It is a new time, and people are not as religious as they used to be. Those that are look at religion in a new way. There is a new generation of Christians bringing new perspectives on all issues including sexuality."
As the conversation winds down both Charles and Hicks sit for a moment in a comfortable silence.
"Love is love," said Charles as she runs her fingers along the nape of Hicks's neck.
After a heavy sigh Hicks said, "I say if it's not you it is not your business."
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